Chimper’s World

It was written in the Bible that God took 6 days to construct everything, and 1 day to rest; however, it is a little known fact that on that day of resting he was busy contemplating how to perfect the Fla-vor-ice icy pops.

I love these things.  I eat them like a fiend.  I go down on them faster then a 1 legged Mexican chick in a Peter North video.  Fla-vor-ice’s turn me on.  Like Popeye and spinach, that is me when I guzzle down a strand of these assorted gifts from heaven.

Fla-vor-ice’s totally turn me on.  I remember one time I ate like 20 of these things and fucked a midget.  A wise man once said, “That kinky is using a feather, while perverted is using the entire chicken.”  Well ladies and gents- we upgraded to the full turkey and once that Turkey Baster came into play, it was all uphill from then on.  It was the most exhilarating sexual episode I have ever had and I gave it my fullest.  Once it was over, after what was the longest 2 minutes 30 seconds of my life, I realized that there is something about Fla-vor-ice’s and having sex with midgets, that only some people will ever understand.

I believe everybody should have sex with a midget.  Having encounters with midgets in this way is great because it makes everybody happy, especially pedophiles.  Fucking a midget is like having sex with a kid except you don’t have to worry about them crying to their parents.  I believe everybody should own a midget because they don’t do shit anyways except join the circus and star in Harry Potter movies.  Did you know that the Oxford University did a study and concluded that in areas where midget sex was endorsed that pedophilia was down by like 97 percent?

I love Fla-vor-ice’s.  Everybody should go to the store and buy some and devour them and have sex with a midget.  Just make sure it’s a real midget and not a baby, because that can get totally messy… trust me!