Chimper’s World

Firstly, I believe that this person was mentally retarded; however he kinda had ‘the look’ like that thing from the Goonies. Not sure if that is something else but according to:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_disabilities

He had the drooling / lurching characteristics of someone defined as mentally retarded.

Anyways..

Here I am minding my own business having my Quizno’s 6 inch roast beef (white bread, lettuce, mayo, Swiss-cheese, tomato, and lightly grilled sub) at the Riverside Park, in Daytona Beach, listening to my I-Pod chomping away, while watching Pelicans dive bomb into shallow sandbars killing themselves.

Here I am.. peaceful.. quiet.. minding my own business while some lil’ mentally challenged kid comes up to me with his ogre appearance asking what I am listening to.  I politely respond and he asks if he can listen.

Now normally I wouldn’t want to let one of them touch my stuff in case of infection, but I was feeling nice today.. so I politely removed my headset… and let this thing sit next to me and listen to my music. Sometime later when I finished my sub… I said I am leaving and got to take my I-Pod back… it ignored me.

I said it again… it ignored me.

I tapped it… it ignored me.

At this point, I look around wondering how fast I can toss this kid into the river while successfully removing my I-pod and ensuring that nobody around saw this incident occur.  Instead, I did what my therapist said and took a deep breath.. and asked again.

It ignored me.

So I politely went to remove my I-Pod from this premie gene pool fuck up, when it started to scream louder then a one legged anorexic Puerto Rican midget chick in an interracial gang bang.  I stepped back a bit… a tad stunned… then told him to take my I-Pod off because I had to return to work.   He starts to cry.. and people come running.

“What did you do to him?”  some hippy yells.

“She tried to steal my I-Pod!” says the tard…

I explain that it is my I-Pod and that this genetic mistake stole it.  The crowd proceeds to gather, stating that I have no soul and no heart… and how evil I must be to pick on such a creature.    They raise their voices, I raise my voice.  It escalates to name calling, threats, and meanwhile this lil drooling family portrait wrecker is listening to my I-Pod dancing with invisible people crying loudly for all to hear.

Then the police come.

Then they refuse to listen to me.  Give me a speech on ethics.. and tell me if I do not leave I will be arrested, and unless I can produce a receipt for my I-Pod (Who the fuck would carry a receipt for an I-Pod months after it was bought)? that I would be placed under arrested.

Needless to say as I was pulling out… I swear I saw the tard sticking it’s tongue out at me.

Now everybody is laughing at me.  I think I have just bad luck when it comes to encounters with retarded kids and minorities.  First some asshole steals my bike:

http://chimpersworld.com/index.php/2008/10/30/a-nigga-stole-my-bike/

Then a retarded kid throws soda at me and calls me Dewey:

http://chimpersworld.com/index.php/2008/11/06/i-was-viciously-attacked-by-a-retarded-fellow-at-7-11/

What’s next… a half breed winning the Presidency?

(edit):  shit… totally didn’t see that one coming.