Chimper’s World

Lately I have started to evaluate life and instead of focusing on myself, like I normally do, I decided to focus on other people around me because it is through their imperfections that I shall make myself feel better about myself… and that is all that truly matters.

However some things plague me.

Like why is it that the fattest people are always the best at DDR (Dance Dance Revolution)?  It not only defies the laws of physics, but also pisses me off by making the perfect people in the world (anyone not fat) lose every single time to these obese family portrait wreckers. Sweat falling down their backs like Niagra Falls during a Typhoon while the fat is bouncing up and down like it is giving the force of gravity a hand-job, and flabby thigh muscles thunderclapping like a demonic escapade are not characteristics of people I would call winners, but rather that of a group of gene pool rejects that I would condemn as losers…. and virgins for life. 

Getting beat by a fat kid on DDR is as depressing as having minority neighbors move next door.

Another thing I have noticed lately is the trailer trash ratio rising faster
then the cock on a Viagra overdosee.  These occupants, whose entire lifestyle revolves around being the next guests on "The Simple Life," is disdainful to society on a scale that I consider 1 step lower then an unemployed single teen parent that leeches off their family. Now I am not cornering those in modular communities, but the wastes of space that have a house that you can hitch up to the back of a Nissan and just drop anywhere…. which often happens when the Nissan runs out of gas or pops a tire.

To you I make the following statements:

You are the bottom rung on the economic level.

You are no better off then a snail and turtle. You carry around your choad of property that is an eye soar and make the property value of those around you sink lower then George Bush’s lowest approval ratings. Show some pride and take that shit to the recycling station and move to Mississippi where you belong… in the woods living off insects and grunting to fire you primates!

Notice the family tree of the typical trailer trash resident. The family
tree does figure 8’s and often curves back to the beginning at the
pinnacle.  Often you can see this in such places as: Central Florida and Alabama - since both those areas are beyond repair due to the high number of Southern inbreeding I move to nuke both areas as fast as possible. While we are at it… get Texas also please.

One thing that pisses me off about trash is how they think it’s ok to continue to have kids when they cannot even afford gas to move their hunker to another plot.  We live in a world that rewards people of mass breeding who refuse to work but can shit out a child like a bad case of the green apple splatters.  I swear, some people treat their vagina’s like its a clown car or something.

On a side note, some rich college person is paying me a shitload of money to take part in a test on behavioral science or something.  All I gotta do is compile a list on what race my fans are.  So email me at my email located at the top of my site and simply write your race and age.  Results of their test will be published soon here.

Don’t go writing me stories on your life and asking for my help because I honestly do not care.  I’m not Dear Abbey.  Go get a dog or something.