Chimper’s World

I hate Pigeons.  There is no other bird as filthy, disgusting, and rude as the freeloading piece of shit Pigeon.  Pigeons are like the minority neighbors that nobody wants to move next door to them.  Pigeons are the ugly red headed cousin that gets ignored at those family reunions.  Pigeons are like those down syndrome kids that ruin perfect family portraits.  Pigeons infest the other birds like the Lebanese infect civilized countries.  I hate them so bad.

Everywhere you turn these avian vagrants infest our society.  You get done washing the car, and these dive bombing bastards fly in for a poop run swarming like flies on an Ethiopian.  You go to the park, "Look daddy at the pretty ducky," so you toss the fat waddling fucker a few bread crumbs and ‘BOOM!’ it gets stolen by these birded versions of roaches.  Pigeons are everywhere, they are a nuisance.

I bet Pigeons sit around in groups, listening to R&B Music yapping about how much they love Obama while planning the next way to bug the shit out of us. 

What makes me mad is when you see old people feeding Pigeons while sitting on park benches waiting for God to get off his ass and grant these hags death.  One time I saw an old lady feeding bread to a Pigeon and talking to it as joyful as a retard in Chucky Cheese and I just had to give her a Kung Fu Chop right upside her head which knocked her dentures out.  I think I gave her a stroke because she was mumbling around like The President without his Teleprompter, but no Pigeons got food that day - which is great.  That’s how we roll down here in the South.