Chimper’s World

So here I am watching the TV and up pop’s the a video of some fat underachiever in his mid 40s yapping about how he had the best trip of his life…. to Disney World.

A sure sign that this man has never had sex in his life.

Last time I went to Disney World, I went catatonic on the Small World Ride.  Billions of lil puppets singing song’s about unity almost made me fringe and by the time I got to Africa and passed through Harlem, it was over.  I woke up in the hospital after a 7 day coma. 

All the rides in Disney World suck.  Half the rides are broken and the others go as slow as a retarded kids spelling bee.

I can understand that parents can bring their little mistakes and accidents to this theme park, but when adults go to this park to ‘hang out’ then obviously something is wrong. 

The same thing goes for people that love The Simpson’s.

Everything about The Simpson’s is stupid.  A cartoon version of Al Bundy in Married With Children except they fucked the humor out of the sitcom and watered it down with piss.  Finding humor in any episode of The Simpson’s is as impossible as trying to bribe Terry Shiavo into letting you fuck her. 

If I ever hear someone say, "Eat My Shorts," I am going to smack them.  I’m not talking about a simply open palm hit, but a brutal smash that will leave them on the ground looking like a Hidalgo and Seabiscuit gang bang happened on their ass.  

I rather run through an NAACP meeting dressed up like a giant chicken leg then suffer the pain of having to go to Disney or watch an episode of the Simpson’s.