Cemeteries: The New Floral Supply Store
by admin on Nov.11, 2008, under Advice
After making my girlfriend a tad upset by pulling a simple prank like telling her that her mom died, I realized that I need to apologize and make up with her. After hours of listening to her cry and let the prank settle in so that I can burst in the room laughing and yelling "haha just kidding… served… and psyche," I understand that females obviously do not have a sense of humor. Sadly, this means I wouldn’t be getting any bedroom action unless I found a way to show that I was just joking.
I had to do what every man hates to do in a way that wouldn’t eat out the insides of my wallet and cost me too much money, because as we all know, women are often expensive and not worth wasting money on. So we have to find a compromise. For this I will ask for assistance from you.
-Kent
As everybody knows women love flowers, and the more flowers you can get the faster women will shut up and do something better with their mouths for you - other then complaining and bitching and nagging.
Women always prefer flowers that are ugly to men, because they just want to be difficult and torture you by having them visible for a few weeks until they die - often right smack in the middle of the table, so remember.. if you hate it.. women love it. This is partially because women love to torment the opposite sex.
The best place to get flowers is so obvious, but I guarantee you never thought of it: Cemeteries. This is also a good place to get lil gift baskets and happy birthday or Christmas cards to save up on for those times of the year. Just make sure you use White Out and input their name in the correct areas. If you forget to do this, it can become a problem later on by the females detective skills. (aka bitching and asking ‘whose this’ over and over again till you just get sick of it and slap her in the face).
People complain about getting flowers at cemeteries because they feel it is wrong, but face it… who cares? The people there don’t really enjoy them. I seen zombie movies and not once did one pop out, grab the flowers, and say thank you - so they don’t appreciate it. So just take it… and give it to someone to serve a better cause.. like getting laid.
Either way after she got the card and flowers she should be very happy and you might get laid. I hope this helped you out sir!
