Chimper’s World

I hate Reality Shows with a passion.  I think I hate them more then Lebanese people!

Why don’t I get my own show?  My ideas are 10x better then any of these fillers.  My ideas:

Quadriplegic Wrestling.
Nude Spin Cycle Rodeo.
Senior Citizen Roller Derby.
Blind People Pole Vaulting.
Midget Political Debates.
Retarded Persons Stripping.
Prostitute Bingo.
Stuttering Speech Impediment Spelling Bee’s.
Big Wheel Monster Trucking.
Obese People EXTRME Mountain Biking. 

Now I know you fanboy’s and fangina’s are going to say, "But you can turn the channel," well….yes I can.. thanks for pointing out the frickin obvious you retarded animal baby, but still that leaves me with 1 less channel in my 300 channels that I do have. That one channel could have something better on it.. Like Aqua Teen Hunger Force, or Southpark, or another reality show involving midgets… Hell or I could have my own show…. I’m telling you it’ll be better then this crap

One show that pisses me off is American Idol.  In summery, this show fucking sucks.

The following is my opinion and my opinion only so don’t cry, and if you do, chances are I do not care or give a rats ass!

Congrats to Fox TV for finding a show white trash fans everywhere can watch in anticipation for the next upcoming suckfest week that rivals that of the previous white trash winner… Nascar!  I decided to sit down and watch an episode and I officially think I am the first person to attempt and bash in my temples with a remote control.

You have this porky drunk pop star, Paula Abdul, this beefcake fat black dude that looks like Fat Albert on the Atkins Diet, and this pompous Euro Trash nobody that is the only person worth watching on this show, all whom are trying to judge other people on standing up and trying to do what they couldn’t muster, in the life time they already wasted away.

Here ya go ‘judges’ you are all past tense failures.  Paula.. you had 1 good song… Cold Hearted Snake.. and even in that you looked like a beefy pudgy slut. Simon… who the hell are you?.. go back to your wank fest with that ‘Who wants to make a millionaire chick and piss off…. and black dude… I don’t know who the hell you are so ‘hey hey hey’ your ass outta here.

Now before you tots all gimp up to me and say, "well at least they try, you couldn’t do better," you are correct.. I can’t.   And you know what? I admit I can’t, hence you won’t see me clouding up your TV with my gurgling vocals. However, even if I had a Deluxe Rabbit Pleasure Seeker Toyfest 2000 jammed in my ass, I could muster a choke that would sound better then these gagfests losers.

What is funny, is that the failures of the show pump out more hits then the winners.  On that note, I would like to say congrats to the past winner, Justin, who pushed out like … 1 song… and a really really bad movie that somehow splooged its way to the movie screens and lasted about as long as Gigli.

You are dismissed and can kill yourself in a tidy fashion you pineapple headed looking fucker.