Chimper’s World

Question:

I want to my boyfriend to propose to me.  We’ve been together for 3 years and I love him so much.  I am entering my mid-30’s and want a child, but for some reason the question just never comes up.  What can I do?

Petra Sanjuff

After you have sex with the beast, instead of giving him the normal lecture on his lack of performance and how the 2 minutes was satisfying, explain to him how much he has cost you in the last 3 years.  Explain to him what he has taken you from video game time, friends, money,  and let him know that he should be lucky to be serving someone such as yourself.  If he doesn’t see the light… smoother him with a pillow or poke holes in the condom.  Then you have a kid, and can leech on his finances while you watch afternoon talk shows for the rest of your life if he chooses to not marry you.