Chimper’s World

So recently I have been exercising my inner demons and  working them out since  people say I have a lot of ‘anger’ issues.  In doing this I began to get in touch with my childhood. 

In such a venture I broke out the Dr Seuss Chronicles and realized what a sick son of a bitch this man is.  For starters, you don’t go telling kids that eating green shit and ham is good.  If there is green shit in your eggs then chances are you are being poisoned by your hospice and should find a way to maul her like a rabid Dixie Chick in a presidential conference. 

Another book from Dr. Seuss involved child pornography in a very non linear way.  Hop On Pop?  Ok peoples… I’m all for procreation among the human species but not when it has to do with your parental unit.  Hopping on pop is bad… even if you live in the South. 

Then you have this cat looking man whose featured in the book ‘The Cat in the Hat’ who barges in these lil kids house and starts to fuck all their shit up.  Your antagonist is a cat dressed in pimp gear and the protagonist is a talking tuna in a bowl and 2 retarded kids that somehow snuck out of the Special Olympics. 

In these books, from this so called ‘doctor,’ he throws in words that makes no sense…. he’s like an old school Snoop Dog except I don’t think The Snoop took his trips as far as Seuss did.  That’s fuckin freaky.  What do these books teach you?  Nothing good that’s for damn sure. 

If you want to give your kids a proper upbringing then just sit them in front of Maury Povitch and let them watch quality TV.  Books were famous before the TV came into play so why go backwards when TV programming has done nothing but advance children’s education.