Fuck Santa!
by admin on Oct.29, 2008, under Rants
Nothing makes me more mad then thinking about Santa Claus. Let me explain. This fat fictitious bastard works 1 day a year and has the nerve to toss around poor lil elves and treat them like shit then enslave reindeer to lift his fat bulbous ass in the air so he can deliver my fuckin assfuck neighbor a new toy train and leave me with a box of fuckin cookies when I was 9?
All I wanted was a new shiny bike with god damned handlebar ropes and lil things in the spokes that clacked when the wheel turned, and I behaved really well and that tub of lard gives my neighbor a train and me a tin of fuckin Danish cookies? Now don’t get me wrong… Danish cookies are the only good thing the Danish ever invented other then fried chicken and slavery but I wanted my mother fuckin bike…. whereas he gives that lil quief a fuckin toy train? That does not seem fair.
For starters Santa Claus beats his wife…. he comes home… starts calling her a ho repeatedly… and demands oral sex. I know this as a fact because he runs around in a red outfit looking like an overflowed Tampax and drinks coca cola and that alone shows you that he beats his wife up so she can chomp his penis.
In his spare time he hangs out with male elves in his ‘work shop’ where he makes them work for garnished wages like lil Jap kids in Singapore that sew soccer balls for a nickel a day. Those elves have no 401k plan and they do not have a union meaning they are unprotected and forced to get it in the ass by this jolly red prick.
The north pole is to elf rapist what the state of Vermont is for homosexuals - a sanctuary. In Vermont gay couples and lesbian couples can get married…. the farther north you get the more things are accepted and what’s more north then the north ‘fuck my elf ass’ pole?
The next time i hear that fat fuck on my roof I’m gonna throw rocks at his reindeer so they fly away and his fat ass has to walk home… kinda like.. what I had to do at 9 years old because a certain someone didn’t get their mother fuckin bike!!
Die Santa die!
