Chimper’s World

So today I was in Walmart pillaging bargain priced items like an addicted crack head in Harlem, and I was almost mowed down by an enormously obese woman in a motorized chair.. the ones they have at the front doors for the retarded people and handicap peepz.  She said in a rude tone that you could hear dripping with saliva since we were in the candy aisle the following:

"Excuse me, do you mind moving I’m handicap so show some respect."

I replied, "How are you handicap?"  Because I was not going to take this attitude from someone that is no longer useful to society and not even the cool gimp kinda handicap people with the floppy arms.

"I’m obese." She slurred and gave me ‘the look.’

"I can see that, but how are you handicap?" Was my reply.

She scoffed at me and popped her chair in reverse and did a 3 point turn next to the Snickers bar area and rolled off like Godzilla amidst Tokyo.

This entire episode made me very mad… I see this too often and the attitude is a reoccurring thing.  Obese people are generally the nicest people you will see.  Then, you get the really obese people that decide to milk society and go that extra mile and bitch about their problem and leech on the economy because they are unable to work and have a make believe disease.  These are often the people that complain that they cannot loose weight while they slap 3 lbs. of butter on a Double Decker Hoagie.

Just because you are a fat ass pig does not mean you are a handicap.  It means you have zero self control, and are too lazy to get your fat ass on a bike or go out and get a normal job because you want people to feel sorry for yourself. 

On my way out of Walmart, I saw this fat fuck lurch towards her car (without the chair) and hobble over to the first handicap parking place like a Hobbit with the One-Ring on a quest to Mordor.  She then plopped down inside her car where the shocks screeched as loud as an alter boy during a church retreat and roared away.  Meanwhile I saw a lady who was so old she probably stripped at Jesus’s Last Supper, walking slowly towards Walmart, not even using her age as a handicap but walking proudly towards the gates.  This lady took 1 step a minute, and deserved the sticker and parking… but she didn’t go that route of pity.

Being emotionally crippled does not mean you are crippled to the point where you cannot function in life.  It means you need to pop Prozac instead of Donuts, and you need to keep your chin up instead of keeping your chins stuffed.  Granted, you are fat and nobody likes you, your most likely better off dead because your taking too much mass for others to function, and people look at you all the time because your gross and smell bad, so do the polite thing to do and kill yourself instead of draining our economy and hurt our innocent tax payers.

Oh and only 12% of fat fucks have thyroid problems, so don’t give me that shit.  Obese people are not handicap, end of the f’ing story.

Class Diss-fuckin-smissed.