Chimper’s World

For starters I am pretty mad! I can’t stand going to the mall and seeing teeny bopping wanna-be push-up bra wearing Brittany Spears looking pre pubescent children walking around like Double A’s are in style. I demand it to stop.

More then this, I am getting really irate with White Trash, redneck hillbilly Jed Clampet looking retards, that crawl out of the trailer park wearing camouflage in Orlando, Florida where the low temperature is 93 f’ing degrees Fahrenheit like they can actually blend in with something.

News Flash you white bread hicks… this is the city… what is camo doing for you? Do you somehow think you can blend in with concrete and skyscrapers? Do you wish to scope out a member of the opposite or in your camo wearing aspects, a member of the same sex in hopes for copulation and breeding? Perhaps wearing camo at a family reunion where everyone is dressed like a stupid palm tree since they all wear camo might get you closer to your cousins but in the big city where the population is dramatically over 20 people… it does not.  Are you trying to scout the field in your green mesh camo thinking that the other 100 people around you in the bloody mall cannot see you because you are perfectly blended in like the Predator hunting South Americans in that awesome movie?

What is with you people honestly? This isn’t deliverance or Wrong Turn. Your family tree doesn’t do figure 8’s and you are not your own grandfather no matter how many 360’s your family tree can muster…. stop wearing camo unless you live in the boonies. Stop wearing camo in major cities… I can’t stand it.. it makes me mad… it gets me dizzy because if you are wearing camo and move too fast it gets blurry and I think I’m walking into the Little Shop of Horrors.

I don’t need this.. I don’t wanna see no aging homeless guy wearing a camo trench coat bump me up for money because I didn’t see him because he was concealed in camo and I mistook him for a frickin house plant. Stop wearing camo… ok?

Jesus Christ people